Looking Back on Summer 2018

            Summer 2018. One for the books. An absolutely unforgettable experience in every aspect of the word. From summer flings, to unmanageable campers, to late nights in Michelles office, to building relationships that will last a lifetime, to breakdowns slowly becoming more frequent as the summer progressed, to growing in my own faith with the Lord, to being able to share that with kids, my summer was reckless, overwhelming, incredible, and most importantly, unforgettable. Going into Deer Creek I knew no one, I was placed in Michelle's cov and God took care of the rest. OT week is where the relationships started forming, and I hadn't even realized it. I'll never forget our sunset worship, where Avery sang and for two hours my heart was aching, aching from past sins, regret, shame, guilt, confusion, and an overwhelming sense of unworthiness for Jesus to still love me the way He does, the unworthiness of Jesus to fight for me the way he does, I am so unworthy of it all, and during this time, that fact was so black and white that it actually hurt. Through singing together, hugs, holding hands, and prayer, this is where the real relationships were built. We had fun learning to belay, and spreading mulch on every inch of every path in a way that was so unnecessarily tedious, or serving meals to each other and full body tackling each other into the pool, but God was present that night on the hill, and he formed bonds between us that ended up being the one thing that truly got us through the summer. Through controversial Bible Studies, hour long devos, and especially confession circle, we all got to know each other in such an intimate ways for only being together for 10 days, and we were ready for campers to get there. So, finally the day came... AC 1! AC 1! AC1! Hype circle got us all the extra hype we needed and we were welcoming campers! Chellby was my first Co, and our first cabin of the summer was truly a rollercoaster of emotions from the best you could think of, to where I couldn't even hold back the tears. Those 4 girls, who week two turned into 7, wrecked my heart in ways that I didn't even know were possible. I didn't understand how I could feel so filled up yet so drained and empty at the same time.  They could be so sweet, and wise and fun, yet so angry and disrespectful all in the same moment. I loved them, I loved them with everything that I could, but it never really felt like enough, and due to their age, they would continuously remind me of that. So yes, there were lots of tears those first two weeks, tears from not feeling good enough but also from feeling so loved and like I was making a difference in their little lives. Hearing them speak at say so made the whole thing feel worth it times 10. Hearing that they want to grow up to be like me.... like why on earth would anyone want to grow up to be like me? But they said it, and they preached it and forced me to believe it before they stopped speaking. Those two weeks were incredibly hard but also probably my favorite weeks of the summer. The next month I was there, Jesus blessed me with some pretty crazy amazing cabins with some pretty amazing co's that just showed His grace from my struggles at the beginning. During July, I was just able to have fun, to build relationships with other counselors, to meet some of my best friends, and be Gabriella where an amazing guy like Kyle Richie could be my Troy. I was able to be on Day Camp which allowed for a lot of freedom, therefore a lot of times when that was taken advantage of and therefore a lot of memories were made. And then I get to serve on a mission called LIFETEEN!! How lucky can one person be? The mission group that is Lifeteen, I know God planned having them serve at camp "Wild Sky" to change the dynamic of all of our summers. I can't fully comprehend the wisdom and grace that every single one of them possessed and how lucky all of us at Deer Creek were to be able to be a part of it and even have been given the opportunity to serve them. We really do serve such a sweet God. I was able to learn so much from the counselors at Lifeteen, and was able to have so many meaningful conversations that helped me to grow in my relationship with them but even more importantly, in my relationship with Jesus. Some of those people the Holy Spirit just truly worked in them in a way where I was able to benefit. When I was feeling like I was not doing enough multiple people, all on the same day approached me just affirming me of how good I am at loving people, how I remind them of summer because it is such a bright and happy month, and how I bring joy to their day with constant compliments, hugs, or affirmations, although all of these things are kind of hard for me to fully believe, somehow they were able to give me exactly what I needed to hear. Saying goodbye to them was one of the hardest things about this summer. But a goodbye to them meant a hello to Friends Week, and so it was just something that had to be done. Friends week was most definitely my favorite week of the summer.  Throughout the summer we would talk about choosing joy, let me tell you that Friends week campers are pro's at choosing joy.  Hearing them pray, or watching them look out for each other, or constantly remind their friends how much they are loved, it is so beautiful. They don't have a care in the world, they dance, they laugh, they play like they are still kids, they even will drink a Dr. Pepper as a talent in the talent show and get some of the loudest applauses that you'll ever hear. The littlest things can be the most beautiful, and that it was friend's week taught me and that is what the summer taught me. I can't put into words an effective way to say how transformed my heart is from this summer, so I'll just say that I serve such a sweet God, a God who I don't deserve but here he is loving so radially anyways. Jesus thank you for community over the summer and for Your never-ending presence, thank you for the opportunity to lead, thank you for the kids hearts who I got to get to know and love, thank you for the life I live and for blessing the past few months of my life in a way that no one else could.
xoxo
Jess